After reading the title, many of you are probably wondering what an “enkai” even is. Well, have no fear because after this blog entry you will not only know what an enkai is, but you will also know how to behave at such an event.
The Japanese “enkai” is a drinking party. Pretty simple concept, huh? Not really. If one took only the face value of this word, then you would assume that all of the enkais in Japan are just a reason for people to get drunk. This assumption couldn’t be farther from the truth. Believe me, I’ve had my own struggles with this as some of my friends and family just assume I’m wasting my life away in Japan drinking every weekend. The truth of the matter is that enkais don’t happen that often, but these parties are a majority of what I write about in my letters back home. (After all, you wouldn’t want to read about the long days I spend at school or the weekends when I clean my apartment!)
In reality, the enkai is much more than getting together at your local bar to slam down some Miller Lites and shoot some pool. At the more formal enkais there are speeches, toasts, congratulatory remarks for “jobs well done”, dinners, conversations, and yes, alcohol. Despite the presence of beverages that are often looked down upon, the enkai is an opportunity to get to know your co-workers or acquaintances in a more personal environment. The Japanese society is built on respect and courtesy, so in everyday situations, it is easy to sometimes lose the connections you would normally make in a relaxed setting. At an enkai, Japanese people “let their hair down”, if you will, and take down the guard that is so often blocking others from getting to know their true personalities. I would hate to think what my experience would be like without these get-togethers. It has been enkais that have truly opened the doors for getting invited to future outings with Japanese people, and finding out similarities between them and myself.
The enkai can be intimidating your first time, especially if you don’t know the language. So how do you successfully survive an enkai, you ask? Here are some pointers for you if you ever find yourself at one:
-Always wait to be directed to your seat. In Japan, the order of seating often depends on the importance of each person. This could depend on age, title, reason for the enkai, or a number of other factors.
-The most important thing at an enkai is to wait until everyone else has started drinking or eating before you dig in to your meal or drink. “Kanpais” are a huge part of the Japanese culture, and they are always carried out before anyone takes a sip or a bite of the evenings’ indulgences. A kanpai is a toast. At the beginning of the evening, the head of the party will stand up to give the kanpai. At this time, it is polite to sit in the seiza position (Japanese torture). At the end, everyone will shout “kanpai” and clink glasses. (You can now drink or eat)
-Before you take your first bite, say “Itadakimasu”. I’m still a little unsure of what this translates to, but think of it as your prayer before eating… only shout it out and do a semi bow.
-Keep an eye out for the people sitting next to you. Any time their drink is close to being empty, it is your responsibility to fill it up for them. This means that you should never pour your own drink either. Politely wait for someone to do it for you. A good rule is to fill any glass that is less than half full.
-Eating in Japan can be tricky, and you often don’t know what you’re eating or how to eat it. It is my rule of thumb to just watch everyone else and do what they do.
-If you must get something from a communal dish/bowl, use the end of your chopsticks that you are not putting in your mouth. Just turn them around and go for it.
-If there is someone that is being honored at the enkai or is important, you may want to go up to them and offer to pour them a drink.
-At some point, there may be some speeches made. Once again, it’s time for seiza! You may want to practice this sitting technique before your enkai… otherwise you may find your feet will completely fall asleep. If this happens, don’t try to stand up quickly or you’ll find yourself face-first on the floor.
-At the end of any meal, always say “Gochisousama deshita”, or “thank you for preparing this meal”. This is done to the person who provided or cooked the meal.
If you follow these simple steps, you should be just fine! I actually just had an enkai last night with teachers from Nikaho High School, but it was more casual than your typical enkai. We went after work and enjoyed some yaki niku (restaurant where you grill meat in the middle of your table). At get-togethers such as this, the formality isn’t there and you can relax! Thanks to last night’s enkai, I now have new snowboarding buddies!
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